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Memory
A couple in
their 80’s were having problems remembering things, so they
decided to the go the doctor for a check-up. The doctor tells
them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start
writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from
his chair. His wife asks, “Where are you going?” “To the kitchen
for a drink,” he replies. She asks, ” Will you get me piece of
cake?” The husband says, “Sure.” She gently reminds him, “Don’t
you think you should write it down so you don’t forget it?” He
says, “No, I can certainly remember that!”
Then the woman says, “Well, I’d like some strawberries on top.
You’d better write it down because I know you’ll forget it.” The
man replies, “I can remember that! You want some cake with
strawberries.”
She adds, “I’d also like whipped cream on top. Now I’m certain
you’re going to forget that, so you’d better write it down ok.”
Irritated, he says, “I don’t need to write it down woman! I can
remember that! Cake with strawberries! And whipped cream!” He
then grumbles into the kitchen.
After about 30 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and
hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says, “Where’s my
toast?”
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Is it still summer?
Millions of Stars
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they
lay down for the night, Holmes said: "Watson, look up into the
sky and tell me what you see".
Watson: "I see millions and millions of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of
galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it
tells me that God is great and that we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a
beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."
Tales from a company
computer department helpdesk
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...
it's still
on my desk... sorry ........
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Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ..
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm
not Bill
Gates!
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Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
try it says
'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it
in front
of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
supermarket.
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Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's
happening...
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does
work!
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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a
capital letter
V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars
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