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"Three-Legged
Chickens"
A man was
driving along a motorway when he noticed a chicken running
alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up
with him, as he was doing 50 mph. He accelerated to 60, and the
chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75 mph, and the
chicken passed him. The man noticed that the chicken had three
legs. So he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a
farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had
three legs. He asked the farmer, "What's up with these chickens?"
The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a
three-legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked
him how they tasted. The farmer said, "Don't know, haven't caught
one yet." |
Loud Train
A man had to
attend a large convention in London. On this particular trip he
decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were
shown to their room, the man said: "You rest here while I register -
I'll be back within an hour."
The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated tube train
passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's
thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she
lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's
pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the reception desk, asks for the manager. The
manager says he'll be right up. The manager (naturally) is sceptical
but the wife insists the story is true.
"Look,... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!"
So he lies down next to the wife... Just then the husband walks in.
"What," he says, "are you doing here?"
The manager replies: "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"
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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: A Guide to Purchasers
Over the last twenty years Cognitive Behavioural
Therapy (CBT) has become an increasingly popular approach for
helping people with a wide range of mental health problems. The
reasons for the popularity of CBT are many. First, there are now
many studies that show that the way people think and give meaning to
events, affects their emotions and behaviours. More importantly,
however, is the mounting research evidence for the effectiveness, of
CBT. However, the understandable enthusiasm for CBT should not be
taken to imply that CBT is a universal panacea for mental health
problems or can necessarily offer a quick fix for people. To assume
this will lead to disappointment in both patients and service
providers. This short document therefore outlines some basic
principles of CBT, challenges some common myths, acknowledges its
limitations and dangers and offers guidance on it use.
What is CBT :
The C stands for cognition and refers to how people think about and
create meaning
about situations,
symptoms, things that happen in their lives, and develop beliefs
about themselves and others. The idea that we can understand
people’s reactions to things by understanding how they think and
reason is of course a very old idea. More than 2,000 years ago the
Stoic philosophers argued that ‘human reason’ was a quality that
separated humans from animals. They also suggested that
understanding how people reason, recognising the ease by which
people can become more driven by feelings and passions than by
‘reason,’ and helping people use their powers for reasoning was key
to a happy and civil life.
To read the full
article go to http://www.babcp.com/
Click on Downloads / click on CBT for Purchasers.
Relaxation
James Tighe
Take a
look at a dog when it's resting. Its body is free of tension, its
brain has switched off and has gone into peaceful mode. Because of
our stressful lives, many human beings have lost the ability to do
this, so we have to relearn how.
For further information
go to
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/mental_health/coping_relaxation.shtml
An
American, Australian and Englishman where stranded together on a
desert island.
After many years together, one day the three men were walking on the
beach when they saw an old bottle than had been washed up.
Immediately the American opened the bottle. There was a flash and a
loud bang and a Genie appeared.
The Genie said” I have been trapped in that bottle for a 1000 years,
and as a reward I will give you all one wish”
The American straight away said “I want to go back home to New York”
With a wave of the Genie’s hand, the American disappeared.
The Australian said “Please send me back to my home in Sydney”
“No Problem”, the Genie answered. And the Australian disappeared.
Suddenly there was a loud crash.
Behind the Genie and the Englishman, a giant pink elephant had just
fallen out of the sky onto the beach.
The elephant picked himself up and looked around.
He
then looked at the Genie and the Englishman and said apologetically,
“Sorry chaps, I appear to be in the wrong joke!”
A
pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber.
The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type
things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for £600.
The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that
much as a doctor.”
The plumber quietly answered, “Neither did I when I was a doctor.”
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